7th Grade, Louisiana.
(to Capitol Hill Police)
Scholar- Back home, we call youse po’pos!
March 2011
11 posts
6th Grade, California.
Mr. Lighter- …and that big ol’ white building with the columns is the Supreme Court.
Scholar- Mr. Dom, is that where Judge Judy works?
7th Grade, Alabama.
Mr. Lighter- So, the statue on top of the Capitol is Lady…?
Scholar- Lady Liberty?
Mr. Lighter- Nope, that’s in New York. It’s Lady…?
Scholar- Gaga?
6th Grade, Louisiana.
Scholar- Mr. Dom, why do Italians love naked women so much?
7th Grade, Pennsylvania.
Male Scholar- Why did we go see Michael Jackson’s hat in the museum when it wasn’t in the schedule?
Mr. Lighter- Because I’m awesome.
Male Scholar- Yeah. You’re pretty fantabulous.
7th Grade, Tennessee.
Mr. Lighter- Wow, so you’re from Chattanooga?! Scholar- I ain’t from Chattanooga, I’m from Jasper! Well, actually I’m from Kimball, but we don’t gotta post office.
6th Grade, California.
Mr. Lighter- Every US president has been Christian, except for Kennedy. What religion was he?
Scholar- Wasn’t he a Scientologist?
7th Grade, Louisiana.
Mr. Lighter- WAHOO, it’s the ice cream party! Are you ready to party like it’s 1999?!
Scholar- Well shoot, that’s the year I was born!
Mr. Lighter Goes to Washington
DC! Our Nation’s Capital! Chocolate City! The District of Crime! I have kicked substitute teaching to the curb for the next 2 months, and will be leading the future Hillary Rodham Clintons and Richard Milhouse Nixons to educational and political enlightenment at the Junior National Youth Leadership Conference.
Teachers from across the land nominate their best and brightest to expand their brains at this springboard for personal excellence, and the JrNYLC hired my tight classroom management and tighter jeans to march 6th and 7th graders through the Capitol, past Dorothy’s ruby reds, and underneath Lincoln’s feet, while making about 5 billion bathroom breaks. The real doozy has been the kids themselves - bright and outgoing, with everyone from the North Carolina girl who is the great great great granddaughter of Otis, the inventor of the elevator, to the Louisiana boy who hunts rabbits with his shotgun and sells rabbit meat at the farmer’s market. And plus - how could I resist the possibility of cozying up to one Sarah Louise Palin? Stay tuned… Mr. Lighter’s Class is back.
8th Grade.
Student- But I wasn’t talking!
Mr. Lighter- Really? Then how do I know you’re pissed at Ally for talking to Mike?
Student- Ughh. You know Mr. Lighter, I like talking to you about current events, but I hate the way you run your classroom.
