February 2011
18 posts
Feb 1st
January 2011
21 posts
5th Grade.
Student- Boyyy, you bout to get pimp-slapped!
Jan 29th
Kindergarten.
Student A- Mr. L, he keeps shoving that in my face! Mr. Lighter- If she asked you to stop, you need to stop. Student B- But we’re playing gangstas, and gangstas do what they want!
Jan 28th
1 note
6th Grade.
Male Student- All girls want to do is shop and waste your money.
Jan 27th
2nd Grade.
Student A- You suck! Student B- Oh yeah? Well, I’m going to cut your cock off!
Jan 26th
Jan 25th
2nd Grade.
Student- Isabella’s my girlfriend! Mr. Lighter- She is! Does she know? Student- Not yet, but she’s going to come play at my house tomorrow. And don’t tell Mrs. Carle; I don’t want her to know I’m dating. Mr. Lighter- Why not? Student- Because she doesn’t like anyone having boyfriends because she doesn’t have a boyfriend anymore.
Jan 22nd
2 notes
Jan 21st
3 notes
High School.
I had planned to post about kindergarteners calling me “Mr. LaTurkey” or how Brian’s mom was just the worst because she got him the $15 plan for his iPhone instead of the $25 plan. But last night I learned that  a sophomore woke up on the Martin Luther King holiday, left his house, and walked down the street. And he kept walking until he was in front of a freight train. He was 15. Substitute...
Jan 20th
Kindergarten.
Mr. Lighter- Good Morning, Austin! Austin- Good Morning, Uncle L!
Jan 20th
Sophomores.
Mr. Lighter- “Anthony?” Student- “Which one? The Asian or the Scene Kid?”
Jan 15th
Kindergarten.
Mr. Lighter- Good Morning, Alex! Alex- Good Morning, Big Papa!
Jan 14th
8th Grade.
Student- Mr. Lighter, I got my phone taken away! Mr. Lighter- Come on, you’re smarter than that! What was so incredibly important that you had to text in front of the teacher? Student- Oh no, it wasn’t like that. I texted Sam at the exact time that she had gotten her phone confiscated by the principal.
Jan 13th
1 note
Jan 12th
Juniors.
Student- Ew, it was so sick. The guy I liked grew a beard over break.
Jan 11th
2 notes
7th Grade.
Mr. Lighter- Hey, so how was your dad’s wedding? Student- It was okay. Mr. Lighter- Just okay? Student- The food sucked. You know Alexia at the high school? She’s my stepsister now, and she was running around dancing and screaming the whole time. She sucked worse than the food. Mr. Lighter- Ouch. Student- But it was cool, because when I got home the next day, my stepdad took me...
Jan 8th
Jan 7th
Second Grade.
Student- My favorite Chinese restaurant got closed for serving cats and dogs! Mr. Lighter- Oh man! Student- But sometimes we still go there because they have crab puffs.
Jan 6th
Kindergarten.
Female Student- Mr. L, Carson just kicked me in my wiener!
Jan 5th
4th Grade.
Student: Mr. L, will you sub for us when Mrs. Taylor has her baby next month? Mr. Lighter: Can’t buddy! I’m movin! Student: What?! Mr. Lighter: I’m headin to San Luis Obispo! It’s time to blow this taco stand! Student: Why? You’re just going to run out of money and have to move back home again.
Jan 4th
1 note
Jan 3rd